Friday, July 27, 2007

Searching 4 myself...

Today, I opened my computer full of billions of ideas inside my mind... I intended to write in more than an issue.. mmm........ but after I logged into this blog, I felt I'm not able to write anything.

I thought about searching around in other blogs... Blogs I knew& even other new ones. I didn't think about it for stealing ideas, but rather to let such writters and bloggers move my feelings and inspiration . "Hey just give me ideas to move on, to express myself more!" That's what I felt.

I 've been there for more than an hour, not able to write a word. I read many blogs, liked some, and surely didn't like others. But anyway No one can say about any of them "trivial", coz at last this is their space to express their own feelings and opinions, to just say whatever is going on their minds, and FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION is a right for everyone. None can controll or limit our thinking and beliefs... WHOEVER IT WAS.

While reading blogs, I admired a lot. I liked the style of writting, and the character of the blogger himself. Interacted and was moved by many of them... Some made me smile, even some made me laugh :) either out of irony or the funny stories he said... One of them made me feel sad, and it made me cry... It was the blog of someone I really appreciate and respect a lot, someone of a brilliant character and way of thinking "at least that's my own opinion about him" though I don't know him personally "I just had a call with him more than once, and keep on reading his blog". He told a sad story that happened to him, a bitter story... that had reached the bottom of my heart, and I felt that the sharpest knife has stabbed me while reading his story... But actually made me respect him more and more.

mmm... anyway, I feel .. no, I don't just feel, I actually know .. that I'm writing nonesense right nw :) . I'm sure whoever will read this will say the same... but "Wallahiiiiii" I intended to write something totally different at first.

Don't know why I'm writing this!! I'm not even sure if I'll save it... I may erase this post after all... but anyway I hope writing this NONESENSE will make me feel better& more relieved.

Don't know what 2 say... I'm still searching for words, searching for something to say, searching for what I really feel,.... Guess I'm still searching for myself in the darkness!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i would like to give u a gift.. that's a poem i love by sir philip sidney, it's entitled: "loving in truth"

Loving in truth, and fain in verse my love to show,
That she, dear she, might take some pleasure of my pain,
Pleasure might cause her read, reading might make her know,
Knowledge might pity win, and pity grace obtain,—
I sought fit words to paint the blackest face of woe ;
Studying inventions fine, her wits to entertain,
Oft turning others' leaves to see if thence would flow
Some fresh and fruitful showers upon my sun-burned brain.
But words came halting forth, wanting invention's stay ;
Invention, nature's child, fled step-dame Study's blows,
And others' feet still seemed but strangers in my way.
Thus, great with child to speak, and helpless in my throes,
Biting my truant pen, beating myself for spite,
Fool, said my muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

u can take the final couplet as your motto in writing blogs!

Anonymous said...

The title of this post is wondrful.
but why can't you find yourself? Just search around&u'll find many to help.
GOOD LUCK