Friday, July 6, 2007

My First ...

Actually... I'm not sure if anyone is gonna read this, I'm even not sure if someone is gonna understand it..... All I know is that in the past, I used to write freely and randomly, i was able to write whatever I want, write everything that is inside me.

But now... I feel quite a strange feeling, I'm not able to express myself at all. I feel I can't speak up with anyone, even my close friends. Sometimes we all meet and I have plans to talk about my day dreams, my fears, and everything that bothers me, but once we meet... I can't utter a word. I really don't know what to say to them.

You know when you feel very depressed and all the feelings inside you are mixed together?? You actually don't know what's wrong with you. You just watch the wheel of life spinning till you discover what's the obstacle you're facing. Sometimes it's really tiny a problem, but it just makes your whole mind thinking about it day& night till you feel you can not get it right, and you can never solve it.
Till now, I don't know what's the solution actually for such strange thoughts I have nowadays, but I thought about "trying" to write what I feel in that blog... Hope I can do it. for whenever I try to whisper to my pencil about my thoughts, it rejects, and stops me from writing.

Anyway... I'll try to squeeze my thoughts till i get out of such dilemma.

1 comment:

houba said...

Bondoka..I READ IT

Everyone in this life should pass by such phase or dilemma-as u say-, not able 2 think or take the right decision,don't know wher he is going on...But i'm sure of,is that it's a temporary period & won't stay too long

Remember when i was in dilemma and u used to told me ALWAYS REMEMBER FAITH,REMEMBER GOD WHO IS ALWAYS REMEMBER U...don't forgt these words